thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
