you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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