so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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