Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
