We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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