it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
