You just made me feel so damn special
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
