I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
