my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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