so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
not ubering you a puppy
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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