we're blogging at a bar
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
