Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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