I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
