I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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