i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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