Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
