She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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