How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
