it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
