I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
