I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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