belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
