she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
