I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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