Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Green mimosas i think yes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
