How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
