he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
