it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
