before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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