i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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