You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
