So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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