u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
