carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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