Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
