thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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