Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Never joke about your clitoris.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
