I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
