It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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