My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
