If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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