this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I deserve this hangover.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
