you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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