My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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