I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
