i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
