and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
