Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
