Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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