Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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