At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
