just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
