We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
